MAY, verb aux; pret.might. To be possible. We say, a thing may be, or may not be; an event may happen; a thing may be done, if means are not wanting; to have liberty, leave, license or permission; to be permitted; to be allowed. A man may do what the laws permit. He may do what is not against decency, propriety or good manners. We may not violate the laws, or the rules of good breeding. I told the servant he might be absent.
(Definitions from Webster's 1828 Dictionary. )

I think that the difference between can and may, and the way these two words are used, or misused, gives us great insight into the mindset of many in today's culture.

Being able to do something, "I can do this" seems to have become a license to do it. Never mind the fact that you maybe should not do it... either because you don't have permission, it is against the law, not decent... or simply... because it is bad manners.

The purpose of etiquette seems to have been lost somewhere in this society. It is NOT to appear refined, to be uppity, to please your mother (or somebody else's mother)... the purpose for etiquette, or good manners is:

MANNERS, n. Ceremonious behavior; civility; decent and respectful deportment.

The main purpose of manners is to show respect for others; to allow space for others; the proverbial caring about others before yourself.

Instead, we do whatever our heart desires... just because we can. And we rationalize the most absurd acts, just because we can, because we want to. No matter the consequences.

So what? Well, part of the problem is that this philosophy, this way of life opens the door to a wide range of not just ignorance, but all out stupidity. It encourages dangerous behavior, at the expense of others. Let's look at some more recent TV commercials.

A few minutes later, we are regaled with another commercial, a very new, cutting edge approach to AIDS prevention. Amazingly, the one method we all knew was not safe enough to prevent pregnancy, is now touted as THE thing to keep us safe from AIDS... the magic of condoms. Again, I remember when no self-respecting physician would even suggest that a simple, plain condom could prevent pregnancies. Thus, the next big improvement, adding spermicide... even then, most couples sought better means of birth control. But now, fast forward to today's AIDS crisis... and now we are encouraging our young people that, other than abstinence, only a condom can keep you safe from HIV. And so, this deadly disease is spreading, among young heterosexuals, and older adults.

We can, and so we do; not because we should, or because it is right, but because we are able to.

What a strange world we live in.